Guides to remembering someone
What families ask in the weeks and months after. Written plainly, and without assuming you already know.
Shiva and shloshim calculator
Virtual yahrzeit candle
The Mourner’s Kaddish
El Malei Rachamim
The Hashkavah
The Yizkor prayer
Psalms by the letters of the name
Mishnayot by the letters of the name
Kaddish d’Rabbanan
Death notice
Hebrew headstone wording
What happens, and when
What to Do When Someone Dies in Israel: Steps and Paperwork
Who to call after a death at home or in hospital in Israel, the death certificate, the chevra kadisha, Bituach Leumi, the bank and the inheritance order.
6 minute read
Jewish Funeral Customs: What Happens, What to Wear and Say
What happens at a Jewish funeral, step by step, and what guests (Jewish or not) need to know: what to wear, why there are no flowers, what to say.
6 minute read
Shiva Etiquette: What to Bring, What to Say, When to Visit
How to visit a shiva house: what to bring (and why not flowers), what to say, when to come and how long to stay, Shabbat during shiva, and when it ends.
6 minute read
Azkara (Hazkara): What Happens at the Shloshim and Yahrzeit
An azkara is the gathering at the grave at the end of shloshim and on each yahrzeit: what happens, in order (Psalms, El Malei Rachamim, Kaddish), and when.
6 minute read
Jewish Year of Mourning: Rules, Weddings and Holidays
The Jewish year of mourning for a parent: how it is counted, weddings and music, new clothes, Kaddish, the first holidays, and what a leap year changes.
6 minute read
Shiva, Shloshim, Yahrzeit: Jewish Mourning After the Funeral
The Jewish mourning calendar after the funeral, for families: shiva, shloshim, the year of mourning, the yahrzeit and Yizkor, with a checklist for an azkara.
7 minute read
Jewish Headstone Unveiling: Ceremony, Program, Invitation
The Jewish headstone unveiling: when it is held, who arranges it, a simple program for the ceremony, what to say, and a sample invitation.
6 minute read
Headstone & Burial Costs in Israel: What Bituach Leumi Pays
Burial in Israel is funded; the headstone usually is not. What Bituach Leumi pays, the death grant, who gets help with a stone, and what sets the price.
6 minute read
How to Explain Death to a Child: Should Kids Go to Funerals?
How to tell a child someone has died, what children understand at each age, whether to bring them to the funeral and the shiva, and when to get help.
6 minute read
Yahrzeit Candle: When to Light It and How Long It Burns
When to light a yahrzeit candle: on the anniversary, during shiva, before Yom Kippur and Yizkor. How long it burns and what to do if the yahrzeit is on Shabbat.
4 minute read
Why Do Jews Put Stones on Graves? The Custom and Its Meaning
Why Jews leave a small stone on a grave instead of flowers, where the custom comes from, and how it is explained, from Jacob’s pillar to the “bond of life”.
5 minute read
What to say and write
How to Write a Death Notice: Wording and Examples
Examples to adapt: a death notice, a short message announcing a death, a shloshim notice, an unveiling invitation and a condolence notice, with what each needs.
6 minute read
How to Write a Eulogy: A Guide with Questions to Get Started
How to write a eulogy for a funeral or memorial: a simple structure, questions that bring back stories, how long to speak, what to avoid, how to get through it.
7 minute read
Eulogy for Mom from a Daughter or Son, with Examples
How to write a eulogy for your mother: questions to ask yourself, what to say about a long illness or a hard relationship, and example lines to adapt.
6 minute read
Eulogy for Father: How to Write One for Dad, with Examples
How to write a eulogy for your father: questions to ask about him, what to say if he died suddenly or was hard to love, and example lines to adapt.
6 minute read
Eulogy for My Husband or Wife: Writing Tips and Examples
How to write a eulogy for your husband or wife: whether to speak yourself, telling the story of a marriage, the children, and two short examples.
6 minute read
Eulogy for Grandma or Grandpa: What to Say, with Examples
How to write a eulogy for your grandmother or grandfather: what only a grandchild can say, one eulogy from all the grandchildren, and examples.
6 minute read
Eulogy for a Brother or Sister: Writing Tips and Examples
How to write a eulogy for your brother or sister: what only a sibling can say, speaking with your parents there, a death that came early, and examples.
6 minute read
Anniversary of a Death: Words for a Mother or Father
What to say on a death anniversary: how it differs from the eulogy, a simple structure, how long to speak, and examples for a parent or grandparent.
6 minute read
What to Say to Someone Grieving: Condolences, Shiva Visits
What to say to someone grieving, what to write in a condolence message, what not to say and how a shiva visit works, with the traditional words of comfort.
6 minute read
What to Write on a Headstone: Wording and Examples
What to put on a headstone: the name, dates and a personal line, the traditional structure of a Jewish headstone, example epitaphs, and what to check first.
6 minute read
A Letter to Mom or Dad in Heaven: How to Write One
How to write a letter to your mother or father who has died: when to write it, how to begin, what to say, examples, and what to do with it afterwards.
6 minute read
Keeping their memory
How to Create an Online Memorial Page for a Loved One
A guide to making an online memorial page: what to include, how to build it step by step, and six questions to ask before choosing a memorial website.
7 minute read
How to Collect Family Memories, Photos and Recordings
Gathering the memories of someone who has died, or of ageing parents: what to save first, how to scan old photos and keep voice messages, and what to ask.
6 minute read
How to Create a Facebook Memorial Page, and What It Can’t Do
What Facebook offers when someone dies (a memorialized profile, a legacy contact, a memorial group) and how it compares with a memorial page of its own.
6 minute read
A QR Code on a Headstone: How It Works and What to Check
A QR code on a headstone leads to a memorial page. How it works, what it should be made of, and what to ask before buying so it still works in twenty years.
5 minute read
When is the yahrzeit?
The calculator finds the Hebrew date of death and the yahrzeit for the next ten years.