What to Write on a Headstone: Wording and Examples

What a headstone usually says

Almost every headstone carries the same core: the full name, the dates of birth and death, and a short line: a relationship (“Beloved wife, mother and grandmother”), an epitaph, or both. Everything else is choice, within the rules of the cemetery.

The structure of a Jewish headstone

A Jewish headstone is usually set out in Hebrew, often with the same details in English or the local language beneath. From top to bottom:

1. פ״נ (po nikbar, “here lies”) or פ״ט (po tamun, “here is buried”) at the top.
2. The Hebrew name with the father’s name: “Sarah bat Avraham” (daughter of Avraham), “Moshe ben Yosef”. Some families add the mother’s name.
3. An abbreviation after the name, in many families: ז״ל (zichrono livracha, “of blessed memory”) or ע״ה (alav hashalom, “peace be upon him”); for someone who was murdered or fell in battle, for example in the Holocaust, a terror attack or a war, הי״ד (Hashem yikom damo, “may God avenge his blood”). For a woman: zichronah, aleha, damah.
4. The Hebrew date of death, and often the Gregorian dates of birth and death. If the death was between sunset and midnight, the Hebrew date is the next day’s, and the calculator can confirm it. Our headstone wording tool writes the Hebrew lines with the date.
5. A personal line or verse.
6. ת.נ.צ.ב.ה at the bottom: “May his (her) soul be bound up in the bond of life.”

An example

Ideas for the personal line

The epitaph is where a headstone stops being formal. Some families choose a verse; others choose words of their own: something the person used to say, or something they want to say to them.

Verses and traditional lines

• “A woman of valor, who can find? Her worth is far above rubies.” (Proverbs 31)
• “Her children rise up and call her blessed.” (Proverbs 31)
• “The memory of the righteous is a blessing.” (Proverbs 10)
• “The Lord gave and the Lord has taken; blessed be the name of the Lord.” (Job 1)
• “Forever in our hearts.” “Loved and remembered.” “Gone from our sight, but never from our hearts.”

Words of your own

• Something they always said: “It will all work out.” “Eat something.”
• What they were to you: “Who taught us to laugh.” “Whose door was always open.”
• A great love: “A man of the sea.” “She planted a garden wherever she lived.”

What to check before you approve

• Spelling. Names and dates exactly as in the documents. Ask two family members to check separately.
• The Hebrew date, especially if the death was after sunset.
• The cemetery’s rules. Cemeteries and burial societies set their own rules on size, photographs, languages and wording. Ask before you order.
• Length. Many monument makers charge by the letter. A short, precise line is better.
• A proof. Ask the monument maker for a drawing of the layout before engraving. What is carved stays.

What does not fit on the stone

A headstone has room for a few lines. Everything else (the story, the photographs, the voice, what friends remember) needs another place. Some families add a QR code to the headstone that links to a memorial page, so that once the page is open, anyone standing at the grave can read the whole story.